So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize
