shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize