yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize