i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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