Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
ttyl tear gas
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
