Pappa wants mamma naked
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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