god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
