You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
