Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
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