Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
