i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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