Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
