i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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