i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize