none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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