Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
