mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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