I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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