"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
