Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
