yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
