Just mADE A PArabola og urine
someone get that fucking seahorse.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
