well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I have feelings that need drinking.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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