I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
