I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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