And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
