He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
