I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
