Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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