the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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