am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
