I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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