I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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