My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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