Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
