he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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