I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
