i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
