He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Randomize
