you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize