He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
