He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
honey bunches of taint.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize