5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
