i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I AM VODKA MAN
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
