it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
