Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
