youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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