Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize