I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
