It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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