I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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