i was born a porn star she said
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
