Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I came so hard my ears popped.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
