Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
