she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
