If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
