dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
