Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.

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(619): View more from California

I'm passing your future prison.

Fav 15 4620 1305
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(919): View more from North Carolina

He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.

Fav 8 1150 2619
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself

Fav 3 1166 2175
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(269): View more from Michigan

Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?

(313): View more from Michigan

death...100% death...what r u planning.

Fav 9 1650 2112
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(810): View more from Michigan

You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults

Fav 3 1524 816
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(828): View more from North Carolina

Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*

(1-828): View more from North Carolina

omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.

Fav 4 1362 553
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(561): View more from Florida

I'm drunk and he's still weird.

Fav 0 10 52
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(804): View more from Virginia

New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.

Fav 0 13 62
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