I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
