he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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